we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
