You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
