Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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