You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you had me at cake vodka
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
His nipple licking is glorious
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