It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
