Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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