Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
