I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I could fuck to npr.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize