these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
