the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
