We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
