another moral hangover. fuck.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
