I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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