My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
