So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
