talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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