with your own penis?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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