my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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