margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
