She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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