check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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