Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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