on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
