Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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