Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize