Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
is it fun? or sober?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
