are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
