No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
