The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
