im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
