My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize