Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
