my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
