Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
