Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
