Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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