So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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