I must be too annoying 4 u.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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