so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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