He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
A bitchslap is in order.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
