Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
