Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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