You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
