last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
