At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
