debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
