so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
