quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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