Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
