soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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