Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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