Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
