Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize