when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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