i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she pinky promised me she was 18
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
