he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
