I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
