i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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