During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
