so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Hippo gnu deer
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
