I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
