Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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