it hurts more in the daytime
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize